Loud noises are coming from under modernity's bed

Does it seem like strange days? This is a blog that chronicles the signs that a chthnoic boom is coming.

Chthnonic: pronounced 'thonik'; Of or relating to the underworld. [From Greek khthonios, of the earth, from khthōn, earth.]

Friday, March 31, 2006

Day 22: If only reality were a hoax

IMPORTANT Save the date request.
Please consider attending this important (AND FUN!) evening of cabaret, dance, song and laughter to celebrate the life of my friend John Beresford, who was killed last year. Visit here for all the details.

In today's post
Save the date, April Fools, photographic fooling, 36-hour days, and "The Institute for the Future."

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day
! Enjoy this list of The Top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time.

Last night I dreamed that
I was forced into helping this old woman make organ pedals out of glass panes. The project took so long I missed a birthday celebration that had been planned for me. I was distraught over this and was ranting violently that I hated this woman for keeping me so long when she knew there was a party in my honor waiting for me. I also ran out of time to learn my lines for a play I was in. I had the role of a smart alecky youngster, but I kept forgetting my lines. The other cast members finally got tired of prompting me. And I was even forgetting my props and which costumes I was supposed to wear. I'd wear the old gray suit ('cause that's totally what kids wear!) instead of the pink and orange pajamas. I forgot my cane (again, huh?) in one scene and ad libbed that a schoolyard bully had taken it from me. (That got added into the show, actually.) And later I forgot a notepad prop so I pretended my wallet was a notepad. The show was horrible and I wanted to give the audience their money back. All because some woman needed me to help her make organ peddles out of glass panes. (Seriously, I'm not making this up!)

The bad news is
: There's no such thing as "reality" any more. Case in point: photos altered to suit political gains. Check out the deception for yourself.

The good news is:
Have you ever said, "There just aren't enough hours in the day!" Well, say no more. How to Have 36-hour days.

May you live in interesting times: The Institute for the Future. I want to see flying cars!

Links today via

Boom level: Cacophony.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Day 21: Cracked crystal balls

In today's post: Fun with predictions.
(photo credit: NASA)

Last night I dreamed that: I was traveling to Iowa for a family reunion, but I feel asleep before we all got in the van we were traveling in. I didn't wake up until we were nearly there. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I suddenly panicked -- where was my luggage. My sister-in-law assures me she packed it. "Wasn't it the one next to your door?" she asks. Then it hits me! That was the luggage I had packed all my meat from the butcher shop in. I have no clothes, toothbrush, soap,, shoes, books. Nothing but cut after cut of raw meat! Someone suggests turning around and going back for it, which is of course ridiculous.

The bad news is
: "Science" magazine author predicted in 1961 that earth would reach population capacity by 2026. A blogger tells us about it.

Also: When good asteroids go bad -- thoughts on what happens when someone cries the sky is falling and then it doesn't!

The good news is:
Not all predictions come true! Check out this AWESOME list of the TOP 87 predictions that never happened. I like the first one: Khrushchev's 1958 shoe-banging rant "We will bury you!" [I still maintain he was really shouting "These shoes don't fit!" and the translators just got carried away.]
(Via Reddit)

May you live in interesting times: People getting arrested in bars for drinking?!?!?! WTF? Have you heard about this? It happened in Texas. Whoever said Americans didn't like fascism! Check out this guy's blog post on the topic. He makes some great points! He starts out the post with, "
First they came for the drunks...but I wasn't drunk..." Of course, any comparison to the Holocaust is fraught with ill-considered hyperbole, but I think he makes his point.

Boom level: Hissing sound...is that a fuse burning down?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Day 20: Ah, childhood

In today's post: Childhood book memories, an article on the lasting impact of those stories, and bitter sweet nostalgia.

Today has been one of those days where I am just damn sick and tired of being an adult.
Oddly enough, yesterday I asked everyone for their thoughts and memories of their favorite children's book. I received many nice emails recounting dozens of books and the stories behind a favorite. It was -- should I say it? -- heart-warming. Here's some the title mentioned. Tell me you don't get a little veklempt. Someone mentioned "old highschool health book" and another person liked the Charlie Brown encyclopedias.

And here are my two favorite comments:
"The Happy Prince -- it's a heartbreaker about a statue and a bird of some kind (a swallow?) that become friends. The statue observes people throughout the city below, some of them in dire straits for whatever reason. He has the swallow take jewels that are embedded in his sword and give them to these people, until he begins to run out of jewels. Finally, he asks the swallow to take the jewels that are his eyes and give them away, so that he is ultimately blind. I swear it killed me every time."
"Poppyseed Cakes. It was an old (1930s?) book about a little boy, a grandmother who makes the beloved poppyseed cakes, and a green goose
who steals them, and so on. The pictures were either woodblock prints or along those lines. It had a strangeness to it, both because it was
Eastern European and because it was so old, and if I saw it today it would probably give me butterflies."
Oddly enough I also found this: Children's literature has lasting impact.

Photo from: http://richardz.com/photoblog

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Day 19: The Vanishing Point

In today's post: Vanishings! And "Grups"

Today's important question:
(brought to you by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo)

"Who really are the ones 'taking' from our country?

Those who enter the country illegally and take jobs caring for our society shunned elderly and disabled, cleaning homes and offices, picking and harvesting our food, slicing, sauteing and serving famished foodies, caring and nurturing the kids of the well to do but don't want to do it's.....all the while paying their taxes?
...Those who only work hard illegally hiding their money offshore so it won't be used to give u.s. soldiers body armor and healthcare?"

For the related story, open up any newspaper, turn on any TV, or visti any news website and read about the MASSIVE protests this weekend protesting proposed immigration laws.

Last night I dreamed that: Something's very wrong! I can't remember my dreams from last night! That never happens. Perhaps it could be because I was awakened twice during the night by two women kicking the crap out of each other outside my apartment, screaming things like "Let's take this out back" and "You had my head against the car window and there ain't even a scratch on me!" and "#&%$@# you, you #$^%#ing &#$%!"
Seriously. People need to grow up. These were adult women behaving like school children. Worse!

The bad news is: Everyone's vanishing! This morning the top four news stories on CNN were:
The good news is: None of this is suspicious.
May you live in interesting times: Yuppies, Guppies, Yindies, Bobos-- all so passe'! The hot new category: Grups. Grown ups who aren't really playing by the grown up rules.

For all you Trek fans out there, yes "Grups" is a reference to the Classic TV series episode "Miri" in which the Enterprise encounters a world where all the adults have been killed by a virus and the 'children' hardly age at all but have to run the planet themselves. When they hit puberty, the get nasty lesions, go bezerk, try to kill you, and then quickly die. Let me just say this was one of the freakiest episodes ever!

From the article: "
If being a Grup means being 35, and having a job, and using a messenger bag instead of a briefcase, and staying out too late too often, and owning more pairs of sneakers (eleven) than suits (one), and downloading a Hot Hot Heat song from iTunes because it was on a playlist titled “Saturday Errands,” and generally being uneasy and slightly confused about just what it means to be an adult in these modern times—in short, if it means living your life in fundamentally the same way that you did when you were, say, 22—then, let’s face it, I’m a Grup."

Boom level:

Friday, March 24, 2006

Day 18: Corn on the macabre

In today's post: Hell Houses, weird ways to die, why we love Amnesty International, and ugly cats. What a mix!

If you watch one thing today, watch this: Hell Houses: Video clip on the warped, demented, abusive practice of Christian Fundamentalist "Hell Houses," plays in which audience members are terrified into believing messages about abortion and homosexuality. I've never seen something so UNChristian.

Last night I dreamed that: My co-worker Carrie and I were off on a big shopping spree at something like the Mall of America. At this mall, however, every store offered some kind of variety show -- comedy, magic, singing and dancing. We went to an Abercrombie store where the sales guys were all psychics. One of them knew my name, for example. We kept trying to leave, but the psychic would point us out to the crowd, saying he knew what we were thinking, that it would hurt his feelings if we left. There was hundreds of stores we hadn't seen, and we never got past the Abercrombie store. (If that ain't a metaphor for the trap of capitalism, I don't what is!):

The bad news is
People die in some pretty horrific ways. Here's a list of the top 25, according to some guy, If these are all true, which I can't vouch for, I think it's a pretty deadly list.

The good news is: Amnesty International wants to end police abuse of LGBT people -- in the U.S.
(Via Towleroad)

May you live in interesting times: Crazy-ugly cat pictures!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Day 17: Party's Over?

In today's post: Fascism in America?, procrastinators beware, and the weirdest pro-life statue you've ever seen, and bonus pictures of baby hedgehogs.

Please feel free to send links for me to include in future posts!

Last night I dreamed that: I was invited to a huge party hosted by some kind of visiting Spaniard contingent. We were in this huge cafeteria/auditorium and there were colorful felt flags (made by children) pinned to the walls and yellow and brown streamers hanging lazily from the ceiling. For some reason, I brought my laptop and a satchel full of books, and the whole night I kept losing them. The hosts, as in the people who were throwing the party, ranged from haughty society types to nut job freaks to the mentally challenged. At one point, Cher and Ted Kennedy stopped by and played basketball with some kids. (What a sight!) I wanted desperately to leave, but Anthony never seemed ready to go. And the long walk home through a foot of snow was not something I was looking forward to. Soon, I became like a zombie as I walked around so tired I could barely stand, knocking down the flags, bumping into people who couldn't speak English. Finally, someone came up to me and said, "Why are you still here? Go home. Party's over."

The bad news is
: The 12 Warnings Signs of Fascism --here it is in pictures. Check it out. Nuff said
(Via Reditt)

The good news is: The complete guide to beating procrastinating. Step one: stop reading blogs...um, er....I mean stop reading other people's blogs.

May you live in interesting times: Whatever your thoughts are on pro-life/pro-choice, this link will have you quite possibly running for the nearest shower screaming "I'll never be clean again" and will definitely have you shaking your head. Apparently, Britney Spears giving birth on a bear rug is the new pro-life message.
(Thanks, Wendy!)

THURS. BONUS: Fandango's first birthday is this weekend, so in her honor here's a page of pictures showing baby hedgehogs from birth through infancy. Once you get past the first picture, they're adorable. (Via Look at this)

Boom level: EEK!


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Day 16: Do the ends justify the meanies?

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday. I was at Jury Duty all day during which time I had the pleasure of sitting next to an elderly lady who snored loud enough to hear through my headphones, an Asian lady who was singing songs to herself, and a woman who must have weighed 400 pounds and smelled faintly of cheese. Ah, the joys of our civic duty.

In today's post: S-W-A-T in the U-S-A, a study finds would-be conservatives are 'whiny', and Pooh Bear goes go 'Nam.

Last night I dreamed that: I was throwing a college class reunion at the house I grew up in back in Michigan. For this party, however, everyone was required to arrive in a plane they had specially built from a classic car. The carplanes landed on the highway in front of the house. My friend Megan arrived in a crystal blue pick-up truck from the 60s that had fin-shaped wings. (She also arrived with a boyfriend who she wasn't speaking to because he flew the carplane so poorly!) The party was tense because I didn't want anyone to break anything, plus I was babysitting my godchildren. The party had one of those awkward moments of silence, so one of my friends, for some reason, suggested we join hands and sing spirituals. My friend Matt sat in his seat, preferring not to participate. (I was jealous of him.) Everyone seemed on edge as they sipped champagne out of teacups.

The bad news is
: The BBC wonders if SWAT teams-style force is suddenly becoming increasingly more used for American law enforcement. It seems an unarmed doctor was shot in January by a SWAT member. Funny that we haven't heard much (anything?) about this from OUR media. Perhaps the government is training these guys to go over to Iraq as a backup plan when our soldiers' start revolting.

The good news is: that there's a way to see which kids are on the road to life as a conservative. A new study finds the "whiny" kids will grow up to be conservatives, while the "confident, self-reliant" kids will mostly grow up to be liberals," as reported in the Toronto Star. Now the question is, what do we do with this information. What about sticking the kids in 'boot camps' where they undergo Conversion Therapy. After all, it's for their own good. We just want what's best for them. No? Oh, I thought since it worked sooooo well for gay kids....
(Via Reditt)

May you live in interesting times: Two words: Apocalypse Pooh. Seems someone merged The Hundred Acre Woods with Apocalypse Now for this disturbing video mashup. Like the movie, it's slow at first. But it does get more...um...disturbing when Pooh Bear starts to flip out.
(Via Reditt)

Boom level: Someone's knocking at the door.


Monday, March 20, 2006

Day 15: ' Losing My Religion'

In today's post:Faith-based insanity, Bush's mistakes, dumb people in dangerous situations (those last two are separate even though I know they seem the same), and finally a mystical Buddha Boy reappears.

Last night I dreamed that: (This is a sad one) I was the coach (or was I a student?) for a debate squad. We were at a tournament that was held outdoors and felt more like a huge neighborhood picnic,complete with table upon table of debaters eating corn on the cob and bbq beef sandwiches as they sat next to their little briefcases, files and legal pads. But all was not well -- my students (peers?) were being shouted at by a young woman from another team. She appeared to be a spoiled brat who was determined to shout her way to her desires -- which, in this case, was simply that someone had taken her seat inadvertently and she wanted it back. I broke up the squabble and told her coaches a thing or too about professionalism. Soon, boys from her team were making threats to my team. The whole place was buzzing with tension. Then, out of the blue, the tournament director, none other than Stephen Colbert with a mustache, starts preaching about god and screaming bloody murder at his students, who weren't even involved in the arguments, but were rather dressing and talking to 'worldly'. Everyone makes a mad dash for the door -- unsure of where his hellfire and brimstone wrath is going. I flee, too. But as soon as I'm outside, I hear his students screaming. I try to get back in, but can't.

The bad news is: Stop the insanity! A county in Texas is considering faith-based prisons. What's next? Faith-based sewer and water maintenance works? No, what about a Faith-based Electronics group that created a crucifix that broadcasts the Lord's Prayer? Yup!
(Via Fark and Boing Boing )

The good news is: Americablog set itself a truly high goal indeed: creating a list of all Bush's mistakes. Why not submit your favorite? What a minute -- perhaps this should be bad news. Isn't scary that our president is so hated/incompetent such a list is possible?

May you live in interesting times: A collection of photos of people Darwin forgot about -- those who don't understand things like gravity. People in VERY unsafe situations.
(Via Reditt)

The BBC reports that the so-called "Buddha Boy," who is said to have fasted in meditation for 10 months straight, is back after having mysteriously disappeared. Click here for the BBC article.

Boom level: CRASH!


Friday, March 17, 2006

Day 14: Weird World

In today's post: Tracking tax trails, a thwarted mugging, and warped hegehogs.

Last night I dreamed that: I was alseep in a little lakeside cottage, but when I woke up the house, which had been filled with other guests, was empty, except for a dog. At first, I thought I'd just over-slept and they were all out on the beach. But soon I realized something was very wrong. I looked everywhere for clues to where they'd gone. Then, while on the porch, I heard a strange sound and saw a flying saucer descend from the sky. I ducked under the porch and hid. From this safe spot, I heard a grou of three aliens (with big googly eyes, long boxy, snout-like mouths and wearing clothes made of felt) talk about the fact that they'd kidnapped the others. I stowed away on their ship and made it back to their hideout. There, I snuck up behind one of them (who was now an obese teenage girl with long razor-sharp nails painted a gleaming white porcelain) and grabbed her around the neck, using her own nails as a threatening knife. I looked her in a bathroom and found some kitchen knives I then used to force the other aliens to take me back to the cottage. When I got back, the aliens also returned four others, who appeared to be non-descript TV characters -- a nanny and three shaggy-haired kids. Was it all some experiment?

What's up with the spacemen lately? Seriously, have I been abducted by aliens and am repressing it?!?!

The bad news is: Tax time is coming up. Want to be depressed at where our money goes? Check out this crazy visual map of how your tax dollars are spent. For a discussion and interesting thoughts on the map, go here.
(Via Boing Boing)

The good news is: Mugger gets run into the ground when he tries to steal from marathon runer. Boo-ya, sucker. I love it when these punks get what's coming to them!
(Via Fark)

May you live in interesting times: For those of you who've met my hedgehog, Fandango (see picture above), this will be especially wierd. Check out these creepy/funny/disturbing/bizarre pictures of baby hedgies photoshopped in amazing ways. You can vote on which one you like best.
(Via Fark)

Boom level: Balloon popping.

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Day 13: Mixed Nuts

In today's post: The attack of the bird flu crazies!; woman fired by nut job gets last laugh; the next Lucas and Spielberg?

Last night I dreamed that: I was chatting with Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) as she tried on costumers for Star Wars. Later, she showed me a dance number she was working on. Still later, we went flying in a space-mobile that had no top (Think: Jetsons, but a convertible). I wish I could remember more (I usually do), but I slept very soundly. I got a new bed and the sleep was heavenly.

The bad news is: It's official: bird flu panic has reached crazy-level. People in Minnesota are handing out tips on burying bodies in your back yard. I like this one, where the Health Secretary seems to say, "no need to panic" but DEATH. IS. IMMINENT. (I hate that!) I've seen other articles that say it will be worse than the Black Plague and that half of the world's population will bite it. Some nut in Russia claims the U.S. government is behind it.
(Via Sploid)

The good news is: Woman who is fired for having Air America [progressive talk radio] sticker, gets offered new job by Air America. Nut jobs tell her she could be a member of Al-Qaida and fire her. Three words for these people:Take that, suckers!
(Via Raw Story)

May you live in interesting times: These kids put together a lightsaber battle to rival Lucas. Check this out. These kids do an amazing job!
(Via Clicked's Video of the Day)

**** GO to Moveon.org and sign the petition to have Bush censured. ****

Boom level: Silence (before the storm?).

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Day 12: School Daze

In today's post: FBI fearful of peace-loving pamphleteers, NYT says no to Electoral College, and the biggest freakin' cats you've ever seen.

Hump day bonus: Easy ways to make yourself more clever.

Last night I dreamed that: I was back in the hallowed halls of Frankenmuth High, and I came upon a group of students who had formed a sort of a conga line and were marching in slow motion down the long corridors. For some reason, I felt compelled to join in their march, and we had to move so painstakingly slow and precise that my legs ached after just a few seconds. As we approached the gymnasium, I separated and went into the choir room where I began my search (why does it seem I'm always searching for something, hmm?) for a computer-like device that was split into many pieces and left in different areas around the school. I found one in the choir room -- it looked like a pencil sharpener. Among other places, I found the remaining pieces in the band room, the auditorium, and my dad's classroom (he was a teacher of mine in high school in reality). The other pieces looked like: an 8-track tape, a fishing reel, a bicycle bell, a cell phone AC-adapter, and a cylindrically-shaped mini-computer. I began putting the piecces together when my secret crush from high school appeared. He asked if I wanted to join his group of friends. We both skipped off to the gym where we ran laps, joyously. I never saw the device again and forget all about what it was meant for.

The bad news is: The ACLU says it has evidence that the FBI was investigating a peace group soley on the grounds that it was against the Iraq war and (GASP!) handing out fliers. Hmm. Yeah, we don't need to worry about illegal wire taps. Not at all. Our government is totally trust-worthy.

**** GO to Moveon.org and sign the petition to have Bush censured. ****

The good news is: No. More. College -- Electoral, that is. The New York Times calls for an end to the "antidemocratic relic" that is the Electoral College. Don't forget, Gore won the popular vote in 2000, but it was the Electotoral College that allowed Bush begin his historically-certified ruinous reign.

May you live in interesting times: When cats are fat and people are starving. I'm a true cat lover, but these pictures are scary. You ain't see fat cats -- I mean FAT cats -- until you've seen these. They look like they have a diet of babies and chihuahas.
(Via Look at This)

Boom level:

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006


In today's post: Former Supreme Court Justice warns of dictatorship, people caught on video doing hilariously dangerous stunts, and a weird obsession with barf bags.

Last night I dreamed that: I was late for a flight to some island get-a-away. So, with dual-strollers in tow (carrying two baby dolls that I somehow thought were my niece and nephew) and with my sister-in-law and Anthony, we sprinted through terminal after terminal, unable to find the right gate and constantly getting trapped in stairwells and, oddly enough, nurseries. I lost the strollers at one point and panicked, but my sister-in-law's sister's daughter Morgan found them. But it wasn't really Morgan. It was some kind of supernatural being there to help me. Then, my sister-in-law made one short stop in a gift shop to buy a Hawaiian lay, but we dragged her out and sprinted on. Finally, we made it to our plane and took off -- and proceeded to fly two miles (or some such ridiculously short distance). Then, after a lay-over, we took off again -- oh, look! people on the ground are pointing at us...why are they running away?!?! The plane wasn't gaining altitude, and its wings began toppling telephone poles and shearing trees as the plane tried to fly above the quiet suburban neighborhood we were flying over. Soon, the wings on both sides tore off in a shower of sparks and ripping metal. Then, the plane quietly skidded to a halt in front of a small post office/gas station/airport. Everyone was safe -- and glad to be alive.

The bad news is
: Sandra Day O'Connor says attacks on the judiciary pose a direct threat to our democracy and pushes us toward a dictatorship. What's worse, the only people who covered this at first were NPR and a foreign newspaper. Ah, yes. That liberal media!

The good news is: Schadenfreude is alive and well! We can watch stupid people nearly kill themselves and laugh and laugh. As the wise Jerri Blank once said, "I cried because I had no shoes...until I met a man with no feet...and then I laughed really hard." Check out this video of people attempting insanely dangerous stunts and the hilarity and injury that ensues. Warning: some graphics bops to the head and such.
(via Fark)

May you live in interesting times:
Someone has a website devoted to airplane barf bags! What?!?!? Shouldn't that be a sign of the apocalypse or something? Don't worry, though, none of the bag are "shown used." Well, that's a relief.

Bonus: Smoker tries to open airplane door -- in mid flight! (an article from last year, but still nuts!)

(For more Transportation fun see Look at This)

Boom level:
A great sucking sound.

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Monday, March 13, 2006

Day 10: Escaping with Our Lives?

In today's post: Out of control kids and the parents that enable them; 'burned out' White House staffers; and brain swapping. (Hmm...interesting thread there?)

Last night I dreamed that: I was one of the Fates, one of three sister-witches. We were being attacked by a large panther creature, with a sheen of dark purple skin and with jagged, angular gargoylish features. The panther creature lived on the top of a grassy hill high above the Cass River in Michigan. He owned a in-ground swimming pool in which swam a deadly jelly fish. When we attacked his lair, the creature tired to work magic and control us, and in fact it cast some kind of possession spell over one of the my sisters (who was, in the dream, my real sister), and she kicked my butt, a la 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'-style martial arts. We tumbled down the hill and escaped with our lives.

The bad news is
: The U.S. reeks of a culture of victimhood, complete with its own "Don't Blame Me Generation," according to Washington Post writer Patricia Dalton."The tendency to shirk the burden of responsibility permeates our family room and our boardrooms," from Cheney's reluctance to come to the press after he shot a man in the face to a young man who refused to take responsibility for maxing out his parent's credit cards. Our culture is based on the belief that, as Dalton puts it, "I am more important than most people: I am good; there, I am incapable of doing bad things." Dalton hits on the head exactly what my friends and I have been noticing and decrying for a year or so now.

Dalton sees the root of the problem in child-rearing. "What is striking today is the number of parents who seem to be uncomfortable with the role of teaching their children. They let the culture do it and hope for the bet. Some even side with their children against authorities." Dalton lists some truly sad examples of parents who let their children call them obscene names, children who defy teachers and then cry 'abuse' when they don't get their way, and parents who don't discipline because they want to 'understand' their kids. You wonder why there's so many problems in this country, why so many of our politicians are liars and thieves, who so many CEO's rip off their investors and workers, why so many kids beat each other up when they don't get what they want....? Here's your answer. We've been saying it all along.

(Via Reddit.com)

A related note: Our Schools Are in Crisis -- a report from New York's Teacher of the Year ....from 1990. Has anything changed? Or has it just got worse?

The good news is:There's no rest for the wicked. The White House staff is 'exhausted'. So sad.
(via Americablog)

May you live in interesting times:
Just when you thought the 'face transplant' was icky enough. What about brain transplants? Scientists are at work on something similar -- brain swapping with animals, for now at least. Think: The Island of Dr. Moreau.
(Via Reddit.com)

Boom level:

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Friday, March 10, 2006

Day 9: The Twilight Zone

In today's post: Nut job politicians, the FBI, and mind control (sort of).
FRIDAY BONUS: 'Talking' cats. Seriously, this video is amazing & hilarious!
WEEKEND BONUS: Fainting Goats. Another great vid. Imagine vaso-vegal, but with goats!

Last night I dreamed that: I was in a blind fury and desparately wanted to throw things, violently pound down doors, and scream bloody murder. But I was frozen -- couldn't raise my voice above a whisper, couldn't make a first, couldn't find energy to match my rage. I even tried to call friends on my cell phone to get them to second my fury, but I couldn't punch in the right number, no matter how hard I tried.I finally just locked myself outside in the cold.

The bad news is: There's a candidate for U.S. Senate, who among other eff'ed up things, thinks homosexuality should be punishable by death. "Just like we have laws against murder, we have laws against stealing, we have laws against taking drugs -- we should have laws against immoral conduct," Keiser says. But wait -- there's more! He opposes evolution, believes global warming is not a real issue, and thinks we should convert Muslims to Christianity as part of the war on terror." At least one blogger is saying 'What the hell?!'
(Via Good As You)

But wait -- there's more! Here's another scary politician who thinks those damn homos are ruining 'merka. I personally think the "Twighlight Zone" music is quite fitting.
(Via Crooks & Liars)

The good news is: You can see if the FBI is spying on you. Here's the Freedom of Information Act request form. Of course, my particular brand of paranoia has the FBI only starting a file on me after they see I've requested to know if a file exists. What -- you thought I was sane. Didn't the 'dreams' section clue you in.
(via The Huffington Post)

May you live in interesting times:
"A computer controlled by the power of thought alone" was unveiled in Germany, according to New Scientist. If you know me, any sentence that has the phrase "by the power of thought alone" has got my attention. Of course, you just know people are just going to use the damn thing to make the computer type dirty words! Seriously, though, the hope is that it can help the paralyzed.
(Via Sploid)

Boom level:
Spooky music.

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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Day 8: Of Mice, Men and nasty shrubs

In today's post: Horror continues to unfold in New Orleans, Bush 'is syphilis', and mice glow green.

Last night I dreamed that: I was being trained for some secret mission at a little run-down house out in a swampy forest. During our training (or was it part of the training?) we were attacked by punk vampires, who seemed easily beaten as soon as we made the sign of the cross with our index fingers. (We showed them!) Then, while gardening out back, I discovered a shallow pit in which was living a creature the looked like a huge rock with a mouth. It tried to eat whatever came too near, and my fellow trainees (which included my dad and Seth, my friend from Michigan) kept taunting the damn thing. As if this all weren't weird enough, walking through the vegetable garden I myself wasn't almost devoured by a Venus-fly trap-style plant (think: Audrey from Little Shop, but much more evil-looking).

The bad news is
: Bodies continue to be found in New Orleans, reports the AFP. "The official door-to-door search of New Orleans ended October 3 with a death toll of 972. Since then, at least 131 more bodies have been found - some by officials, some by horror-struck friends and family members, some even by insurance inspectors," the article says. The whole Katrina response has been disgraceful and tragic.
(Via Sploid)

The good news is: Kurt Vonnegut diagnoses U.S.'s problem -- "George W. Bush is the syphilis president." According to an article from the Columbus Free Press, the writer blasted Bush in a speech at Ohio State University, saying that Bush stole and the election and that it happened in Ohio." Here here!
(via Raw Story)

May you live in interesting times:
Mice engineered to have 'glowing' hearts. Every beat, they glow green. No, it's not some twisted Christmas decoration. Rather, it's all in the name of science: "it could improve our understanding of irregular heart beats, known as arrhythmias, as well as open doors to observing cellular processes to better understand basic physiology and disease.
(Via Digg)

Boom level:
Something wicked.

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Day 7: Aren't we all mutants of some kind?

In today's post: Perv teenager is lonely, human beings still mutating, and Klingon head ridges new fashion statement.

Last night I dreamed that: I was the guest in a house that looked like a mansion on the outside but was simply a maze of white-walled, square rooms inside it's cavernous space. I often found myself running up and down stairs to find the room where my shadowy host kept traipsing off to. One room in the maze was home to a gaggle of teenage girls who listened to hard-core rap and threatened my life whenever I was in earshot. Each time, I would always stomp to their door and ask, "What did you just say?!" And each time they would try to slam the door, but always catching one of the girl's hands in the door. The slam never seemed to hurt her, though. And I would walk away, still looking for my host -- and the way out.

The bad news is
: A Texas teenager has been arrested for breaking into homes of sleeping women and trying to get into bed with the sleepers, including one granny -- because, as he told one victim, "I don't want to sleep alone." The kid was naked and, when caught, cried "I want my mom." Wow -- equal parts scary and depressing.
(Thanks, Fark.)

The good news is: Humans are 'still evolving'. That was close! I thought we'd be a race of murderous, hating, selfish power-hungry morons until we blew ourselves up. Maybe there's still hope.....nah. For those who have NYT online subscriptions, see this longer article.
(Thanks Reddit)

May you live in interesting times:
Piercing is soooo last millennium. Body-modification may just be the new thing -- like fun subdermal implants that give you neat-o bumps of different designs under your skin, according to this Wired article. Check out the pics -- crazy! And of course there's a Star Trek connection: one of the....um...should I call them 'the implanted'?...said he was captivated by the weird alien of Star Trek, especially -- you guessed it --forehead ridges. Those trend-setting Klingons did it again! Hey, whatever makes you happy!
(Thanks Boing Boing)

Boom level:
A great sigh of despondency

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Day 6: What's the punch line?

In today's post: A scary solar storm, the video of 'inspirational' cheerleader who falls on her head, and a man who will save us from reptilian humanoids. In other words, not much 'news' today, but rather some damn funny stuff (with the exception of the solar storm -- that's still scary.)

Last night I dreamed that: I was packed onto a bus with a bunch of kids from my high school (none that were in my circle) and a some strangers (who resembled attractive celebrities). Bound for a stand-up comedy 'bootcamp', we were all a-twitter (yes, a-twitter!) about the hard-core training we would undergo to become famous comedians. A girl I used to play with in grade school, tired to psycho me out by being shocked to hear I didn't have any material polished and ready to go. It was like one of those pathetic reality shows. Then everything changed. Day became night and we were being stalked by some king of mechanized ghosts (complete with an electrifying device) who were tormenting us, physically and psychologically. One of the other people on the bus had even become possessed and was holding a heavy silver pistol at my back. And I woke up.

The bad news is
: Zap! The sun is angry. Huge solar storms could threaten earth...for the next 11 years. "An 11-year epoch of increasingly severe solar storms that could fry power grids, disrupt cell-phone calls, knock satellites back to Earth, endanger astronauts in space, and force commercial airliners to change their routes to protect their radio communications and to avoid deadly solar radiation could begin as soon as this fall, scientists announced Monday." (San Francisco Chronicle, via www.sploid.com)

The good news is:
The cheerleader in this video is ok. She fell from the top of a pyramid, had a broken vetebra and concussion and was strapped into a stretcher immediately. But, hey, the cheer must go on, right?! Remember the Cheri Oteri skits from Saturday Night Live? Well, this clip is that cheer-tastic! Watch her as she starts waving her arms to the cheer -- AS she's being taken away strapped into the stretcher. (Thanks, after school snack)

May you live in interesting times:
Check out the top ten most eccentric people you don't know, including:
David Icke, is a former professional football player, BBC television sports presenter, and British Green Party national spokesperson who believes "that the world was ruled by a secret group called "The Elite": a race of reptilian humanoids, known in ancient times as the Babylonian Brotherhood, and that many prominent people are descended from them, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, and Kris Kristofferson" (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Boom level: A villainous chortle

The Three Units of the Human Brain, Júlio Rocha do Amaral & Jorge Martins de Oliveira

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