Loud noises are coming from under modernity's bed

Does it seem like strange days? This is a blog that chronicles the signs that a chthnoic boom is coming.

Chthnonic: pronounced 'thonik'; Of or relating to the underworld. [From Greek khthonios, of the earth, from khthōn, earth.]

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Day 11: TURBULENCE


In today's post: Former Supreme Court Justice warns of dictatorship, people caught on video doing hilariously dangerous stunts, and a weird obsession with barf bags.

Last night I dreamed that: I was late for a flight to some island get-a-away. So, with dual-strollers in tow (carrying two baby dolls that I somehow thought were my niece and nephew) and with my sister-in-law and Anthony, we sprinted through terminal after terminal, unable to find the right gate and constantly getting trapped in stairwells and, oddly enough, nurseries. I lost the strollers at one point and panicked, but my sister-in-law's sister's daughter Morgan found them. But it wasn't really Morgan. It was some kind of supernatural being there to help me. Then, my sister-in-law made one short stop in a gift shop to buy a Hawaiian lay, but we dragged her out and sprinted on. Finally, we made it to our plane and took off -- and proceeded to fly two miles (or some such ridiculously short distance). Then, after a lay-over, we took off again -- oh, look! people on the ground are pointing at us...why are they running away?!?! The plane wasn't gaining altitude, and its wings began toppling telephone poles and shearing trees as the plane tried to fly above the quiet suburban neighborhood we were flying over. Soon, the wings on both sides tore off in a shower of sparks and ripping metal. Then, the plane quietly skidded to a halt in front of a small post office/gas station/airport. Everyone was safe -- and glad to be alive.

The bad news is
: Sandra Day O'Connor says attacks on the judiciary pose a direct threat to our democracy and pushes us toward a dictatorship. What's worse, the only people who covered this at first were NPR and a foreign newspaper. Ah, yes. That liberal media!

The good news is: Schadenfreude is alive and well! We can watch stupid people nearly kill themselves and laugh and laugh. As the wise Jerri Blank once said, "I cried because I had no shoes...until I met a man with no feet...and then I laughed really hard." Check out this video of people attempting insanely dangerous stunts and the hilarity and injury that ensues. Warning: some graphics bops to the head and such.
(via Fark)

May you live in interesting times:
Someone has a website devoted to airplane barf bags! What?!?!? Shouldn't that be a sign of the apocalypse or something? Don't worry, though, none of the bag are "shown used." Well, that's a relief.

Bonus: Smoker tries to open airplane door -- in mid flight! (an article from last year, but still nuts!)

(For more Transportation fun see Look at This)


Boom level:
A great sucking sound.

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